A wedding is perhaps the highlight of any couple’s love story. It’s the celebration of a bond that is so strong it can stand any test. But most importantly it’s about the couple’s story. Maybe they met on an island half-way across the world, or maybe they were highschool sweethearts or childhood friends. Perhaps the love story isn’t just about how the couple met, but rather how they grew in their relationship and the challenges they overcame together.
A wedding ceremony script is often quite dry and impersonal without context that directly relates to the couple and the audience. You might as well have a robot give the speech. It’s the wedding officiant’s job to make the love story come alive. The key is to bring the audience right into the story, using descriptive language and appealing to the five senses.
Why Does Storytelling Matter in the Wedding Ceremony?
Stories connect us and bring us into the same experience. Hearing about a couple’s first date, their shared adventures, and the beautiful moments that deepened their love allows guests to feel invested in their relationship.
Generic readings and vows taken directly from the internet can be beautiful, but a personalized story makes the ceremony uniquely theirs. One of the most important things about the ceremony is that it feels authentic. Telling a story is perhaps one of the best ways to do that.
Lastly, storytelling evokes emotion. Whether it’s laughter or tears, a well told story can bring out the full spectrum of emotions. Drawing on human feeling is a pillar to story telling success. After all, our passions and sentiments dictate much of our lives without us even knowing it. A gathering to celebrate love, such as a wedding, is only one example. As long as you are able to tap into the sensitive side of human nature, you are on the right track.
Lastly a wedding is just one of the stops along life’s journey – it’s not the final destination. Talking about the challenges they’ve overcome and the milestones they’ve celebrated, is an encouragement to the couple and even to the guests continue the journey with love, hope and trust.
The Officiant’s Role: Collecting Information for the Story
So what are the steps to creating a good story? It begins with asking the right questions during the pre-wedding consultation. Once you have enough information you can then write an engaging and compelling love story.
Here are some example questions you can ask the couple:
“How did you meet?”
This classic question often yields charming and unexpected answers.
“What was your first date like?”
Did they meet at a swanky bar, go for a quick coffee or find each other at a concert? Adding details like awkward, funny or touching moments help bring the first date alive. Maybe it didn’t even go well but circumstance made them cross paths again later! Even if it’s not the craziest story, there are still ways to make it come alive by adding details about what the energy was like, and what they bonded over.
“When did you realize you were in love?”
This question encourages the couple to reflect on strong emotional connections and how they came to be. Ask them to describe how they felt when their partner admitted feeling the same.
“What are some of your favorite memories together?”
Was there a specific date they had together that was super special or romantic. Maybe a hiking adventure where they got lost but one of them was able to find the trail again? Possibly a beautiful vacation experience they shared together?
“What have you learned from eachother?”
Maybe there’s one or two specific examples of how the relationship made each of them a better person. Tidying the house or learning a cool skill such as skiing or playing guitar are a couple examples.
“What are your hopes and dreams for the future?”
This question focuses on the shared vision of the couple. Are they interested in starting a family together? Maybe they have the dream of starting a business or creating a social program together.
“What are some quirky or funny things about your relationship?”
Adding humor can lighten the mood and can help make the ceremony more memorable.
“Are there any specific people, places, or things that are important to your story?”
Maybe the couple’s parents or grandparents were a big encouragement and support in the relationship. A subtle shoutout to friends and family could add a really sweet touch to your story.
“How would you describe each other in three words?”
This is a good way to get a quick snapshot of how they view each other. This is where you might also get an “Awweeee” from the audience. Adding this at the end could also lead into a heartwarming conclusion.
Bring the Story into the Ceremony:
When it’s time to sit down and write the ceremony script, it’s important to structure the narrative. Don’t just string together random anecdotes. When it’s time to talk about the couple’s love story, think about how you want to organize the flow. Having a chronological story line is generally a quite easy format to follow. Once again be sure to use descriptive language in your writing to paint a clear picture of each part of the story. Remember, however, to keep it concise. While the story is important, it shouldn’t overshadow the other parts of the ceremony.
This might go without saying but make sure to share the story with the couple before the ceremony to ensure they’re comfortable with it. When possible, use the couple’s own words. This will help make the story feel like it’s coming directly from them. Most importantly, make sure that the focus is always on the couple, not on you. Keep that in mind in your writing and when practicing and delivering the speech.
Can I legally officiate a wedding if I’m a good storyteller?
Maybe you haven’t been asked to officiate a wedding yet, but your friends keep telling you you’re an excellent storyteller. Well, if that’s the case, then maybe becoming a wedding officiant is the perfect profession or part-time gig for you to pursue. As long as you’re at least eighteen years old you can get ordained online for free quite easily. There’s a few organizations like American Marriage Ministries and Universal Life Church that offer this service for free. By entering your basic information, you can become a legally recognized officiant in less than a minute. Once ordained you’ll be able to officiate wedding across the United States!
Conclusion
Finally, by embracing the power of storytelling, you can transform a wedding ceremony into a truly magical and memorable experience for everyone involved. As an officiant, you have the privilege of helping couples share their unique love story with the world. Embrace this role and the art of storytelling, and you’ll create ceremonies that leave a lasting impression.
– Bernard Paul