The Buddhist philosophy is defined by compassion for all living things and spreading loving kindness throughout the world. Perhaps you are thinking of including some Buddhist themes in your wedding. First of all, because Buddhists view marriage as a non-religious action, there’s a lot of room for personalization. However, there are still some defining characters of the Buddhist wedding tradition. For example, Cambodian Buddhists have a unique handfasting ceremony, whereas in Japan couples sip three cups of rice wine to solemnize their bond. In this article we’ll discuss a number of different Buddhist wedding traditions.
Buddhist Pre-Wedding Rituals
Some couples will take some time a few days before the wedding to prepare their minds and bodies for the big day. This involves a lot of meditation and chanting rituals. The couple may even visit a Buddhist temple to receive pre-wedding blessings.
The Ceremony Space
The wedding ceremony space is beautifully decorated with Buddhist symbols like the lotus flower and the dharma wheel. A large golden Buddha statue, surrounded by candles, flowers, and burning incense will also bless the ceremony space. For a Tibetan ceremony, rainbow prayer flags may also be hung on a stretched line. In Chinese-Buddhist ceremony spaces, red and gold are prominent colors that will be featured in the ceremony space.
Buddhist Wedding Attire
Buddhist wedding attire varies widely depending on the specific culture and tradition. However, generally, the attire is often simple and elegant, reflecting the Buddhist emphasis on modesty and simplicity. The bride often wears a white or pastel-colored dress, while the groom may wear a suit or a traditional garment. A Japanese bride might wear a colorful kimono, while a Chinese bride might don a qun qua. In some traditions, the couple may choose to wear matching outfits to symbolize their unity.
The Wedding Officiant
Because Buddhist weddings are secular, they are generally not officiated by a monk or nun. Instead many couples will choose a close friend or family member to officiate their wedding. If you want your friend to officiate your wedding, it’s pretty easy to get ordained online and become a legally recognized officiant.
The officiant will not only guide the wedding ceremony, but might also lead meditations or special readings.
Guided Meditations and Readings
A Buddhist wedding ceremony will often begin with a guided meditation to bring the guests and couple into a space of loving kindness. Sacred Buddhist scripts from the ‘Sigolavada Sutta’ or words from the Dalai Lama might be read at some point during the ceremony.
Buddhist Wedding Rituals
Buddhist wedding rituals vary widely based on culture or country. However, it’s common for Buddhist monks or priests to be invited to the ceremony and offer a special blessing. In Cambodia the couple will use a red string to bind the couple’s hands and a single white string will be wrapped around their heads. Japanese couples will sip from three different cups of tea that represent the three jewels in Buddhism; Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. In Thailand, monks perform a ceremony where they pour water over the couples heads.
Offerings to the Buddha
The couple will also offer gifts to the statue of Buddha. They might present flowers or even small packages of food as well as lighting candles or burning incense. The idea is to show thanks and gratitude for the sacredness of marriage and the beauty of life.
The Wedding Meal
Having an elaborate feast is an important part of the Buddhist wedding tradition. The meal is generally served in a buffet style, allowing guests to mix and mingle while they treat themselves to the various dishes. Buddhists are generally vegetarian, so you can expect some delicious vegetable curries and noodle dishes.
The Wedding Party
After the ceremony and wedding meal have concluded there will also most likely be some sort of celebration. Many Buddhist couples choose to have a Western style wedding party filled with music and dancing.
These are just a few examples of some Buddhist wedding traditions. Maybe you can find a way to include some of these customs in your own wedding ceremony.
-Bernard Paul