Ah, weddings! A time for love, laughter, and… let’s be honest, sometimes a little drama. But don’t worry! You’re not just there to give a beautiful speech and run away, you’re also there as a calm, guiding presence for the couple. Let’s be real though. Weddings can be a stressful time for the couple, so here’s how to get through those pre-wedding jitters and family feuds with patience, grace, and maybe even a dash of humor 😉
Picture this: you meet the soon-to-be-weds. They greet you at the door with excitement, eyes sparkling and can’t wait to get started with the wedding planning. Then comes the guest list. Suddenly, sunshine turns into a thunderstorm of “Aunt Susie hates Uncle James!” and “Grandma insists on having a polka themed recessional but everyone else thinks it’s a silly idea!”
Deep Breaths, Not Deep Dives
Don’t jump into the family feud and also get caught up in the family drama. As the officiant, you should be the calm, collected and reasonable voice in the room. You want to understand everyone’s opinion but at the same time you also sometimes need compromise. Take a deep breath, channel your inner zen master, and remind the couple that their vision for the day comes first.
Open communication is always the best way to approach any problem. Encourage the couple to have honest conversations with their families. Sometimes, a simple “Hey, we love you, but polka just isn’t our vibe” can go a long way.
Creative Alternatives
Sometimes, a gentle nudge is all it takes to keep the peace and make sure everyone is heard. Maybe Grandma’s polka dreams can be fulfilled at the after-party? Perhaps a compromise on a different song that still honors her wishes? Be creative, suggest alternatives, and help them find common ground.
Just responding to some suggestions with “maybe” can also be helpful in certain situations. Instead of an outright “no” to Aunt Mildred’s seating chart demands, try a gentle “Maybe, but let’s discuss other options first.” This will show that you’re listening while giving yourself space to find a solution that works for everyone.
Don’t forget that a little laughter can go a long way in settling even the most tense situations. Crack a joke or tell a funny wedding story to help lighten the mood. A smile is contagious, and sometimes all it takes is a shared laugh to break the ice.
Prepare for the Worst
You can be giving it your best and there still may be drama. If you’ve reached a personal boiling point or see it heading in that direction, have a backup plan. There’s only so much that you can do as an officiant. If it’s too much to handle you might just have to wash your hands of the situation altogether and move on. As long as you have done your best, keeping your boundaries, that’s really all that is asked of you.
If you decide to back out, find a respectful way to excuse yourself from the officiating role.
“Not All Heroes Wear Capes”
You might not be the hooded hero, but you have something even better – the power to get through pre-wedding drama with grace and humor. By following these tips, you’ll navigate the officiating ship through the stormy waters and into the peaceful harbor of marriage. Now go forth and conquer those wedding jitters with a smile!
Bernard Paul